And The GRAMMY goes to...

Today was my last day at work. It was two and a half years ago that I stepped foot into the Academy. Never would I have imagined that it would foster so much worth, comfort and stability in my life. And never did I know how much I needed all of those things until it is now over.

It is always the people who make places remarkable. When humans can actually add to the process of creating beauty in life, the collaborative effort proves to be such a powerful thing. We are bonded together in a mysterious mission, I suppose. Sometimes, unconsciously. And for all the deadlines, paperwork, eye-rolling moments that day to day office life can have, it is a precious thing that friendships are forged at all. People make fun of the water cooler talk that happens, but I think those moments are where relationships can actually be formed and I don't underestimate it.

I found a receipt the other day from 2005. On the back was a short journal entry that I scribbled while sitting in the parking lot of the Academy. Thoughts, fears, maybe a prayer of sorts. Just needing some strength. Cos it was the first day of school, and while I had a great interview, I had no idea what to expect. I do not know why I was so nervous - I am not typically nervous about jobs or new people. The fears were unfounded, of course, because 2.5 years later, the experience turned out to be probably the best job I've ever had. I'm going to keep that little receipt - it was an answered prayer.

And here we are. Goofing off. My going away lunch.

My coworkers created a framed collage for me and signed the borders. All the kind words sort of lift me up and out and towards the next step, the next day. It is incredibly humbling to be thought of anything more other than just ... me. This little girl who has an idea about how the world can be like. Maybe not "should" because I don't know think things will be perfect on this earth. After all, that's the business of Heaven. But still, to have people who support your ideals about justice, love and purpose - well, only the blessed have that experience. And that I am.

Thank you to all my friends, my family at GF/MC. I think of each of you uniquely, fondly and I thank you for adding to my life.

Technology

One of the many ongoing issues that I have been trying to resolve is the usage of a webcam while overseas. If you haven't tried to mess with a Skype-sanctioned webcam that also works with Mac OS 10.3.9, then you'll probably have a few more added moments of joy in your life. Seriously. It has been a time drain and I can't say that all the techno-babble excites me either.

Previously, I had deduced that not many webcams work with my operating system, so I won a bid on eBay (my first auction won! finally!) for MAC OS Tiger. Tiger was ordered, paid for, and shipped. And never arrived. Hrmph.

Last night, Grandizer Chris in his Mac, um, not hating, but opposing ways, sat down and tried to figure out the intricacies of why our webcams were not working well together. I won't bore you with the details, but when Skype finally recognized my webcam, both of us leapt for joy. I took a photo of us together from my Rocketfish cam. This will go in our "red" period.



We tried out the webcam last night - he from his apartment and me from mine. It worked! And as for Mac OS Tiger, if I get it great, if I don't, I'll know why - I never needed it in the first place (and I can get my money back). These are the moments when I say to myself, God is in the details.

In other news, I am "official." Mercy Ships has finally added me to their system and I can receive donations ... hold your breath... online! Waaa! I'm in the 21st century. Awesome. My donation link is to the right, in the sidebar. And thank you to all who have donated. I am totally awed by your generosity and I thank you for making it happen!

Being sent forth

I should really be getting sleep now so that the viral cesspool doesn't brew again - I've been fighting off illness for about a week. However, I have to take some time out to brag about my friends. They are just some of the most thoughtful, considerate and generous people, a person could be graced with knowing. On Saturday, they threw a "see you later" party for me at the Irving House. Barrels of food from Eliz Kim's good dip to Young Mi's Madeleine's to Sandra's meringues descended upon the food table:





Sandra spearheaded a wonderful, lighthearted warm evening with the help and generosity of my other L.A. family. It was a perfect party, and I wouldn't have wanted it or needed it any other way.

Chris opened up with a time of worship and praise, choosing some of my favorite songs. At the end of the fourth song, he turns to me and says, "This is for you, Michelle." He goes on to sing a ballad, eyes closed, opening them now and then to smile at me. There's lyrics about wanting to see the world as you see it. Wanting to understand it the way you do. I'm thinking, is he singing about God? Finally, at the bridge, he is crooning about missing me. Oh! ME! My boyfriend wrote an original song about me and serenaded me in front of some of my closest friends. If I had an actual clue sooner, I would've cried. But by the time I felt my sinuses pinch and my tear ducts fill when this bright blogger "got it", the song was over. (He says he'll encore it for me. I will cry then for sure).



Bethany, mistress of ceremonies, opened up the floor for me to discuss my prayer requests. She then asked people to affirm gifts that I have specifically, and give words of encouragement. At least three fourths of everyone there shared. And with everything they said, I just felt so incredibly humbled, spirits buoyed - essentially, I became a bit braver and more confident. These people were not paid, by the way, though one might have thought they were. These were people who have known me - some, as Maestro Wong pointed out - for nine years. What I mean is, they know the good and bad. And they love me in the midst of everything else. And thats what love is. Its a blessing. Thank you, God! (Dear reader, if you do not have friends like these - and you don't need to go away for six months to find out if you do - I suggest getting some! Better yet, be that kind of a friend! Here's the sassy group:



And the second wave of folks (sans Thena and Ted and Helen - boo!):



I wrote down everything that each person shared about me. It was a blessing to me. So many people said things that I feel like were from God, Himself. A way that He wanted to use my friends to speak to me and my heart for a mission that is not my own, but His. After that, Bethany began a prayer time.

Then the crying began.

I know I've said this before, but it is wild to me that people would shed one tear over my absence. I'm serious. This is not a low self esteem thing, but its more like, "Wow, I can't believe you feel that way about me!" It is deeply, almost -how shall I say? - incategorably humbling and touching. It has added a deeper dimension for me in terms of intimacy. It teaches me something. That is, I want also to experience that love for others. Not just strangers in a third world country, but I mean the love for the people you just live with, the people you know on a day to day level. The people who you allow to know you. There are people who can lay down their lives for strangers, but somehow when it comes to just saying, "I love you" or "I'm sorry" to their families, spouses or best friends it is the hardest thing in the world! God help me, that I can be that person - a person not just simply good for the adventurous task, but a person who is steadfast enough to accompany someone on the long road ahead.

And then I cried.

What overwhelmed me was just the gift of friendship and kinship. That unnatural, unexplainable thing that points to the evidence of God. And I thanked God for that - cos no one deserves it, but He certainly doesn't withold it!

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers. They help shape my beliefs, which in turn shape my decisions, which in turn shape my character, and in turn, it shapes my future.

Thank you.

Shift of perspective

Things you might never realize unless you were leaving the U.S. for an extended amount of time:

* Macintosh Powerbook G4's have dual voltage (i.e. 110V/220V)
* If you don't want to break your cell phone contract on AT & T Wireless, you can downgrade to the cheapest service possible, and its still cheaper than breaking your contract ($175 to do so!).
*Skype webcams for Mac OS 10.3.9 are hard to come by.
*Traveller's insurance can insure that your remains are transported back to your home country. Hm.
*You have alot of food in your pantry that may not get eaten by the time you leave.
*You may get summoned for jury duty during the time you're gone.
*Brush up on politics. People outside of the US know more about our politics than Americans themselves.
*Familiarity with loved ones is under valued.
*People love you more than you think.
*People will miss you.
*You are a source of joy for someone and without your presence, something feels incomplete.

A shot in the arm, and a goodbye ... for now

I got my vaccinations today. And while Mercy Ships only recommends that I come with a yellow fever shot and some Malarone, my doctor was quite insistent that I get a YF shot plus four others, especially since the Centers for Disease recommends it. So I went in for a few pricks of the needle. Before I knew it, with a couple sore arms and a prescription for Malarone in hand, I was vaccinated and ready for Africa. And, steps of reality were sinking in further and further that I am going overseas.

And if having a needle in my arm didn't wake me up, telling my coworkers that I was leaving in a month surely did. We had a meeting and at the end, I shared with them my story and my preparation to go overseas. I cannot tell you how humbled I am by the smiles, the congratulations and the tears. I couldn't believe I was standing there telling my coworkers that I was going to Africa. It just baffles me that anyone would miss me - to the point of tears. That's just wild. I'll miss them too and yes, to the point of tears. I've had such an amazing work experience with this group - we're goofy, we're professional, we get the job done. There are exciting days, low days, high days. We eat, complain about our weight, can't resist chocolate and drive each other nuts.

In other words, kind of like family. Thank you, God.

Knitting Marathon - the Recap!

Many, many thanks to everyone who came and contributed to Knit 'Til You Quit: The Knitting Marathon! It was a very productive ten hours full of friends, food and fun.

Holley Replogle-Wong arrives fresh and ready with many sponsors in tow!



Sponsors included Cat, her ... cat! :) Thanks Cat (Cat doesn't even have an income - or any possibility of getting one - that's sacrifical giving!)

Promptly at 11 am, Holley started knitting a preemie cap to donate to Stiches From the Heart. Meanwhile, Sandra was busy working her culinary magic to bring us ginger molasses cookies, chocolate mint cookies and the much celebrated Cheddar Dill Scones!





The goodies were overflowing in abundance. The first movie of the day was playing (THE BREAKFAST CLUB), when the lovely Elizabeth Kim (nee Martin) appeared!



Elizabeth and I had rekindled our love affair post college due to a knitting party, so its only appropriate that she was here. Thanks Eliz!

At some point, Christopher showed up and began the manly task of grilling up some burgers, hotdogs and marinated drumsticks. By this time, Maestro Wong (husband of Holley) had also appeared for some moral support. By lunch time, we continued our 80s streak with SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, only to reinforce our notion that John Hughes probably hated his high school years to some degree.

Next, courtesy of Stephanie, was probably one of my favorite movies of 2007, STARDUST. Swashbuckling, evil witches, pirates and falling stars. What more do you need?

Bethany pitched in by doing some beading and also crocheting the beginnings of a cool looking scarf.



By late afternoon, Young Mi had arrived.



Evening came and it was time for SINGIN' IN THE RAIN. Aside from making a slammin', crazy good Grown Up Mac n Cheese, the multi talented Stephanie also took time out to sew her skirt.

Here's the Mac n Cheese:


Here's Stephanie:



A myriad of many others came after that. It was a warm and full house indeed. There is truth to the adage, "The more the merrier." Even after managing a money makin' Beverly Hills Starbucks, Danielle showed up and wow'ed us all with the knitted thermal she was wearing. Tres amazing, yes?



By the time O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU was playing, Amber was working her way to a completed shrug. I'm amazed at how creative people like her can be!



Speaking of finishing projects, Holley was able to complete two things! Here she is her cute sleeveless tie-cardie and also an adorable preemie hat.





Thank you to EVERYONE who came, sat, ate, conquered, knitted and lent a warm hello. It was all the better because you came by. And because of this event and all the work that has gone into it, my fundraising thermometer has gone up quite significantly! Thank you! I am humbled by your sacrificial generosity through time and finances.

As a final parting thought to this photo laden blog post, here's a picture of Grandizer doing one of the things he does best. And I mean, putting a smile on his face and then yours ;). (Though eating was a good guess, too).

Celebrities are more the most important people in the world.

Does the above statement feel wrong to you? Something about it isn't right. Celebrities: I am talking about the Britneys, the Toms, the Jessicas, the Hannahs and the Montanas. The rich, the beautiful, the (sometimes) talented, the controversial, the sexy, the glamorous, the people who seem to have perfect pores. The immortalized. We buy their records, we read their gossip, we fuel their fodder, we watch their movies. We want to date them, we want to sleep with them, we want to know them, we wish we were them. So does the above statement still feel wrong to you?



Then how about, "Celebrities are more important than the average person."

Something about that is still not right. Somehow its saying that certain people hold more value than the next, for whatever x factor. And how does one qualify, really? What is the currency to gaining this importance? Let's alter it one more time.

"We would treat a celebrity with more care than the average person."

Ok, now we're talkin'. I can relate to this, at least. Having worked in the movie and music industries for over 10 years now, I completely understand the feeling of being around the Britney, the Tom, and sometimes, the Hannah (and Montana). I have answered the phone calls of celebrities, delivered packages for celebrities, brought in coffee for celebrities, picked out houses for celebrities, written thank you notes to celebrities, walked the red carpet with celebrities and most recently, find the measurement of a celebrity's neck. Yes. And though it all, I handled them with kid gloves. With politeness, laced with a nervous tinge that they had the power to be offended (and thus, me, stupid and fired) Because in this business, you are as indispensable as you are wealthy. And if my bank account could talk, I would be pretty dispensable!

All three of the above statements should feel totally and completely wrong to you. It should jar something in your soul. Inscribed into your being (mine and everyone else's) is God's face. He has not picked out some people to be special, and the others to just watch. No, in His eyes, we are valuable, capable, acceptable, lovable, and forgivable (as my mentor Marvin would say.) The beauty of this is, it doesn't take money, sexiness, talent or an education to receive this. God just gives it to us. And it is a challenge to accept it but it is ours and does not change depending on our ability. Upon God's character, He loves us always.

As I think about leaving in a month, I realize how my world now will starkly contrast with the world in Liberia. I reflected on this this past Sunday when I was at the awards show with Chris. We looked out the window, as we sat in traffic, waiting to get into the Staples Center. A black Hummer with tinted windows slipped right in front of us. It was more special. It carried a celebrity. They're special, apparently. And while a rich person's money never solved self esteem problems, it is the currency of our world on this side of Heaven. (And yes, they need the message of God's love too!)

It is my prayer and hope that I would treat everyone with the "kid gloves" while I am overseas. That I would speak into the lives of everyone around me about their value in God's eyes.I have no perceptions of going over there to think I am doing someone some huge favor. I don't need to be memorable, but I do want to be useful and that is my hope. For the poor - whether materially or spiritually.

Well. Knitting marathon this weekend!. Should be awesome. Taking lots of photos. Come back for a play by play next week. Thanks for dropping by!